Yep, thats pretty much how things feel right now. If you're bothered by non happy clappy posts then you probably won't want to read this but , sometimes real life just slaps you upside the head...and it has for me.
So whats been going on....Have you ever felt just completely defeated by life? When no matter which direction you turn something else is just slugging you right in the kisser? Thats how it's been going here.
Let me begin with the start of August and my so called 'budget' and 'paying down debt'. Umm, yeah, hasn't happened in a while. I've been making nothing but minimum payments on everything because my homeowners insurance kicked in, in July to the tune of $200 per month until January of 2014. You may think thats high but because we live in a modular home and even though I am fourteen miles away from the coast and not in a flood zone, ever since Hurricane Katrina, homeowners insurance rates here in the South anywhere remotely near the coast skyrocketed and aren't coming down. Yes, its highway robbery but what choice does one have?
Since it's been so hot here in the South our electric bills have been close to $300 per month as well. So, between the homeowners insurance and the electric bill you're looking at $500.00 right there. Living on a fixed income, trying to pay down debt with these two extra amounts each month and trying to survive the month financially just doesn't work. So I am very discouraged as far as my debt. Not only because I haven't been able to pay it down but because I've had to add to it as well.
Last Thursday my dog Jake..here he is..
Yes, he smiles, was unable to urinate. I prayed it was a simple urinary tract infection but alas, it was not to be. We rushed him into the vet, he had to be cathed in order to pee, Xrays were taken and it turned out that Jakes bladder is full of stones!.He stayed over night at the hospital with the cath in and the doctor was hoping he could push the stones back up and medication would dissolve them.. Once again, I prayed and once again it wasn't to be. We went back on Friday and the doctor said that while Jake is now able to urinate he will need a major bladder surgery to remove all the stones and they will actually have to make him a "female" meaning they have to make a (if you're squeamish stop reading)
hole that he will urinate from before it hits his penis so that if he gets stones again they will be able to pass. Surgery is this coming Monday and to the tune of $1700.00. Yes, I almost threw up all over my vet. Thanks to God, our vet will let us pay it off at $250 per month so now we will REALLY be even more strapped for money each month. And before anyone has any ideas of commenting and telling me to put my dog down? Forget it!. Jake is only 7 years old ,he's in good health and I"m not going to kill my dog because he has bladder stones. Anyhow, this just adds more financial grief.
After getting all over my husbands case for the last 3 months about his laziness I find out the truth, finally. Now mind you, I have asked him a dozen times if he was sick, didn't feel well and each time the answer was "no Im fine" which ofcourse then just pissed me off more because what else is left when one just sits on their ass most of the day watching you kill yourself trying to keep up with everything ? Laziness. Well, the hubs finally told me he hasn't felt well in months, he thought it would pass and may have been from his surgery in November. Then we kind of had a riff about him taking so long to tell me and letting me walk around with a pit of aggravation in my gut each day when I didn't have to. We will be addressing this with our doctor very shortly.
Then there is my little girl Lady who sadly, I don't believe is long for this world. She is 14 yrs old, diabetic, deaf and blind and while she had been doing well she is slipping now and quickly. She's had this cough as well that we can't find the source of and her eating habits have changed in the last week also. She's eating less, sleeping and coughing more. It's bad enough we have to face losing her but I will also have to come up with an extra $300.00 when she does pass for her vet bill and cremation bill... Are you seeing the theme here?
I have my family coming here in one week, this coming Saturday that I have not seen in 6 years. You can't even imagine how much I am looking forward to this. They are like the air I breath and I need to be with them for a while. Well, my body has decided to screw me over. I am getting migraines again that started the other day that nothing works on and honestly, I do not feel well at all. Perfect timing huh? My house is in a shambles because I've been working on it and now I don't have the stamina nor the desire to put it back together before they get here and I don't have the money to pay anyone to come clean.
Lastly, If you know anything about me at all, then you know how much the Lord means to me. Well, even thats been suffering as well. Because I haven't felt well and the night time I seem to feel worse my prayer life has become almost non existent and I am trying very hard to get it on track again..
So, my house of cards is crumbling and I am getting whipped at the stake from every direction. Ever have a life like this?